Hey,

im with Rebekah the fagget at the moment she standing right next to me giving a bj to a smoothie straw.

we just got done working out and we stank like a mu fucka.

i ran 3 miles and it sucked nutsacks

I LOVE SAMANTHA!!!!

-Jake

ALRIGHT TONIGHT IM GOING TO TELL YOU ABOUT REBEKAH........ SO WE ALL KNOW REBEKAH AS THIS GIRL WHO HAS SOME BIG ASS TITTAYS (by the way rebekah this is just a story we dont just think of you as big tittays) BUT WHEN SHE GROW UP SHE ENDS UP BEING A HOOKER (WE ALL KNEW RIGHT?) SO THIS ONE GUY COMES AND HE WANTS A BLOW JOB SAID HIS NAME IS HAVIER OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT HAVIER SANCHEZ HE SAID HIS NAME WAS..... SO REBEKAH WAS SUCKING AND LICKING AND BLOWING AND OMG THIS GUY WAS LIKE SKEETIN UP A STORM AND REBEKAH COULD BARELY FIND HIS DICK... SHE HAD TO USE ONE OF THOSE  500X MICROSCOPES SO SHE COULD SEE IT. SHE LICKED IT ONCE AND HE SKEETED..... IT WAS DONE.... BY DOING THIS SHE HAD JUST MADE 700 DOLLARS. SHE WAS ALL PROUD AND SHIT WEN SUDDENLY SOMEONE SHOOTS HER IN THE CHEST AND SHE DIES....... SO SHE'S FLOATING AWAY AND EVERYONE THINKS SHE'S GOING TO HELL.... SO SHE GETS TO THE GATES OF HEAVEN AND THERES GOD RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER....... HE TELLS HER SHES GOING TO HELL.... REBEKAH ASKS IF THERE WAS ANY WAY TO CHANGE THAT AS SHE RUBS UP AND DOWN GODS LEG..... HE SAYS MAYBE....... SHE REACHES DOWN AND PULLS OUT A GIGANTICLY WIDE PUSSY (yes god is a girl) SHE LICKS AND LICK AND GOD MOANS AND MOANS..... HE SAYS SHE CAN GO TO HEAVEN...

The moral of this story is that god isnt what people think

This story is brought to you by Jacob Shaw

Based on a true story 

HEY YALL SORRY I TOOK SO LONG TO MAKE YOU GUYS A NEW  STORY  BUT NICK KEEPS NOT LETTING ME SO BLAME HIM......

OK SO NICK WIT HIS DUMBASS SELF JUST TRIPS OUT OF THE BLUE AND FALLS AND BRAKES HIS ARM (RIGHT AFTER HE  BROKE HIS ANKLE) SO YOU KNOW USUALLY PEOPLE ARE LIKE OMG!!! IM GONNA CALL THE AMBULENCE, BUT SINCE HE WAS WIT ME I WAS JUST LIKE HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! NICK YOU STUPID SHIT..... AND HES LIKE "WAAHAAAHAHAHAHAH" CRYING AND IM JSUT LAUGHING AT HIM AND HES LIKE "CALL THE......" AND THEN HE DIED AND I WAS LIKE HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! AND I LAUGHED AND THEN I REALIZED HE WAS DEAD..... AND THEN I SAID "FINALLY"

THE MORAL OF THIS STORY IS ALWAYS LAUGH AT YOUR FRIENDS WEN THEY GET HURT

This story is  brouht to you by Jacob

Based on a true story